An Apple a Day... Apparently Doesn't Do Shit

For background: I work for a company that provides in-home care for people with disabilities.  The house I work in has three residents and ten staff. We staff 24/7 at a 1:1 ratio. I'm the Program Manager, which just means I'm the boss in the one house.

So, today I worked 3pm-9pm, and by 5pm I was sitting pretty at 165 kcals.  I'd eaten cereal with unsweetened almond milk (150 kcals) and pickles (15 kcals... Well, okay, the jar said 0 kcals but it was clearly lying to me, so I'm estimating 15 kcals).

A member of the nursing team for the house (the highest-up one) was doing a site visit and I was talking to him about our medication delivery that had just come in.  I was crouched down, loading bottles of meds into the bottom of our med cabinet and I stood up too fast.  My vision went black around the edges and my knees got weak.  Instinctively, I grabbed the top of the cabinet to keep myself upright.

Being a nurse, he noticed and surmised the cause.

Goddammit.

He told me to sit down. --- I did need to sit down, so I did.

He told me to eat something.  --- I blanched and agreed with a smile and a laugh.

But I didn't make any moves to get any food.  I was hoping he'd forget.  Being a GOOD nurse, he didn't.  And two minutes later, he said, "Chloe, get something to eat now.  Before you pass out. You won't be any help to anyone if you're on the floor."

Great.  Just great.  Guilt trips suck.

So I heated up a container of veggie soup, and ate it in front of him.  I felt like a fucking child.  A guilty, irritated, embarrassed child.

By the way... I blame this on being tall.  I have decided if I were short (I'm not; I'm 5'11"), blood would make it to my brain fast enough that I wouldn't be at risk for passing out so easily when I'm not eating much.  Yup, that's right.  It's not the food intake, it's my height.  SEE HOW THAT WORKS, DAMMIT?

In any case, I then came home shortly past 9pm, and watched a DVR'd episode of Iron Chef while swallowing the massive amounts of saliva my mouth was producing.  God, I'm hungry.  

Also, I have decided I have a crush on one of the Iron Chefs.  Michael Symon does it for me, in a really odd way.  He's this kinda goofy, 41-year-old bald dude who is positively in love with foods I despise, like offal.  In fact, he loves offal so much, he wears t-shirts that just say "offal" on them.  Like so:

Offal, in case you were wondering, is "a culinary term used to refer to the entrails and internal organs of a butchered animal."  Yeah.  Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. 

So I'm an eating disordered vegan with a quasi-crush on a professional chef who gets jazzed when he thinks about cooking entrails. Match made in hell, I assure you.  

(I'd still do him.  Just sayin'.)

Uh, so, where was I?  Food today.  Bring on The List!

• High fiber cereal - 130
• Unsweetened almond milk - 20
• Pickles - 15
• Vegetable soup - 145

Intake: 310 kcals

(The scale better not have shit to say about that tomorrow or I'll kick the thing until it begs for mercy. Which it will not get, 'cause I'm a bad ass motherfucka, ya hear?  *throws gang symbols*)