DieDieDIE

I have worked EVERY day for the past idontknowhowlong.

I slept for about ten seconds last night, because one of my clients (or whatever you want to call 'em) was in various hospitals from about 3:15 Saturday afternoon until 6:15 this evening... Why was she there?  Because she ate a spoon, naturally.

It took them eight hours to decide she wasn't going to be able to pass the metal spoon and needed an upper endoscopy.  Listen, I realize I don't have a medical degree (yet... I really should get on that), but that shit took me eight SECONDS to decide.  

And that's only because I spent the first seven seconds laughing.

Of course she wouldn't have been able to pass it.  IT'S A METAL SPOON OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU ALL HIGH?

Sweet Jesus Christ.  

Also, I swear, the next time  her gastroenterologist attempts to tell me she REALLY does have dysphagia, fer serious yo, I'm going to punch him in his fucking throat.  As far as I know, dysphagia is not clinically diagnosed in people who can EAT ENTIRE SPOONS.  Fucksake.  If you can eat a spoon, I fail to believe you would have any trouble eating the food you could put on a spoon.

I ate like shit today, too, because fuck everything.

And I have to be back at work in 9 hours.  So I suppose I should try to sleep now, seeing as I spent all fucking night on the phone last night.

Oh, and today I was on the phone all day too, and even AFTER the girl was home I was on the phone for ages.  Mostly because the hospital decided they were waaaaaay too cool to tell us which of her various psychotropic meds they had randomly dosed her with at 1:30pm and 2:30pm today so I had NO idea what meds to instruct staff to give her tonight.  (She gets 8am and 8pm meds, so it was really anyone's guess WTF they gave her in the early afternoon, and it turned out it was a charmingly random combination of whatever-the-fuck-they-felt-like.)

OH AND...

Just because the universe hates me, as I'm struggling through my own 9a-9p shift today, at the main house I manage, WHILE trying to deal with the fallout from Spoon Eater from the other house I manage, one of the girls I support decided to lose her goddamn  mind for 7 hours straight.  She broke, among other things, her curtains, her blinds, a lamp, a picture frame, twenty-seven hair elastics, an end table, a standing fan, four toy cars, and my will to live.  

My shit-for-brains assistant manger decided to yell at her, in anger and frustration, and say things like, "Stop it!  Just stop it!  You're driving me crazy! Ahhhh!"  

I'm sure you can all guess how helpful that is while attempting to calm down a severely behavioral severely autistic woman with a history of violent self-injury.  I mean, you bet your ass I got loud too.  I got directly in her face so she HAD to look at me and knew I wasn't scared of her. I raised my voice to shock her into listening, but I actually said things she WANTED to listen to.  My assistant yelled at her, and she broke more shit.  I yelled at her and she stopped in her tracks and sat her ass down and allowed me to hold her in a basket-hold restraint until she was calm and felt safe.

It's not like I have some magic fucking knowledge straight from Jesus or Allah or the fucking dinosaurs.  We have multiple, mandatory, weeks-long trainings to learn to deal with this. 

STUPID PEOPLE MAKE ME ANGRY OMFG.

I'm going to sleep.  I have an 8am shift tomorrow during which I have to mind TWO behavioral girls (who, hahahaha!, happen to hate each other so badly the state agency I answer to mandated they not be allowed to live with one another) BY MYSELF because one of my staff needs to recertify in CPR.

OH AND OH AND OH AND...  

As my crappy day was winding down?  I got my period.

Hey, universe?  

Fuck you.